Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Thoughts

Wow. It's been awhile, huh? 


Do you know that feeling when you feel like something's missing? Maybe for some of you it's a person or an object..but lately I have been longing for something that I cannot describe. Yeah, sure. It could be a person, or an object, but every night I go to bed thinking with an empty spot in my heart. Yes, things are going on in my life that are out of my control. I can deal with that. I have been dealing with it for almost 2 years now, but that's not the point. This feeling that I have been feeling recently is something different. It's almost like having a missing piece of a puzzle. You can't stop thinking about it until you find it.

For the past year, while I have been MIA, I have been keeping a journal on my bedside table and writing all of these things down. Thoughts about my day, my concerns, rants, raves, and all of the things I feel when I think about this thought.

Every night I go to bed and I think about this feeling. It feels sweet but sour at the same time. The thought makes me yearn for something. The crazy thing is that I have this thought every single night. That's right, ladies and gents. Every. Damn. Night.

..and I can't seem to make it stop.

**

Another thing I wanted to touch on is people and being two-faced. You know when you meet somebody, and they are the nicest person, but then you see them around other people being a complete jackass? Yeah. You probably do. Some of you may even be one. Some of you may even think I am one. Anyways, it just really pisses me off because it has been happening a lot lately. It's almost like they think they need to be somebody else because that's how their friends act. It's a shame, really. I can't believe how it would feel to have to be something that you're not just because you built a reputation to be something else.

I am almost getting a mixed signal from people. Usually I can read people really well, but sometimes you just have those difficult ones that you don't know what to think. Anyways, if you think you are a "person" like this, I just want you to know that you are a great person just the way you are. You DO NOT have to be somebody that you are not. Let your true colours shine through and show people who you really are. At the end of the day, would you rather have friends who like you for who you think you are, or friends who like you for who you are? I'll let you decide.

**

WELL...thanks for reading. It's been awhile since I've blogged and my writings pretty damn rough, but it's a start. I really really miss blogging and I'm back! I'm starting so many new things this year and I am so excited. 2014 will be my year. I have so much to write about and I can't wait to share it all with all of you..if "all of you" even read this.

If you're new to my blog, this is where I share the highs and lows of my life with you. Whether it be a rant, a catch-up, story or a message I believe in, it will all be in my point of view. I write all my posts as true to my heart as I can, and everything I say on here is true. 

Thank you guys for giving me a second chance. Lets make ROUND 2 of LTNE even better than the first.

Let the adventure begin!

xx Nathan


4 comments:

  1. WHAT YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD WRITER OMG YOU'RE AMAZING

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  2. you are an amazing writer, nathan! you are gonna make it, buddy! i'll be there cheering u on when u win your emmy or oscar aahahh :)

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  3. Interesting post, and my dear friend, it has been a while since I've seen you. I am glad you understand the emptiness in one's heart, a void that cannot be filled. The idea is to live with it, as well as get justice against all those who have wronged you. Like you, I am faced with a bunch of Janis-faced idiots who treat me like a ghost every day. You are lucky to be surrounded by friends. I, however, have nobody, and has to live with that feeling of dread every single day. That dark fear which will continue to haunt me every single day. The fact that no matter what I do, I am still sitting with a bunch of hypocrites that will always see me as a freak. A deformed insane psychopath who cannot see the longing for acceptance inside. My world cannot accept anybody different, like me. You are lucky to be able to write your ideas out on the Internet freely without fearing ramifications, something which I cannot have. It's been a while since I've heard from you. Keep up the blogging, and enjoy your freedom of speech, something which I never could have.

    S.

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