Friday, March 14, 2014

Stronger

Refer back to my post "Alone". I posted it about 2 years ago; a time when my life was at it worst so far. My emotions went wild and I went crazy. To make things worse, the only way I was able to express my negative energy was through that post. You may ask why that would be a bad thing, blogging about my feelings, and it really isn't. Actually, it's what I'm doing right now. Besides the fact, it's because I affected so many people and concerned so many of my closest family and friends around the world. That post got global attention, and still remains my most popular yet controversial post yet. This is mostly because my post came across as me wanting to commit suicide or that I was self-harming. What people didn't understand is that writing that post was me releasing all those suicidal thoughts and the self-harming pain. Writing these posts are my outlet. There is just something different about writing to the public rather than to yourself that I love.

Now lets fast forward to the present. Right now, I am finding my self in a similar situation. I am feeling lost, lonely, mad, sad, afraid, stressed, confused, tired, alone. But this time it will be different. Over the past year I have grown so much as a person mentally and physically that I can work through this myself. Hard work and discipline has brought me to where I am today. 2 years ago, I wasn't the same person I am today. I was younger and scared. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to fight or how to control my feelings. I was going in to a pattern where I bottle up all of my anger and release it on somebody that didn't deserve it. I almost lost a friend. Now I know my limits. I know what to do and what to say.

People say don't fight fire with fire. That is partly true, but if you don't fight for what you believe in, you're never going to get what you want. Don't think of fighting as beating somebody up; think of it as working towards getting in shape, overcoming depression, and protesting for your rights. Violence is never the answer, but you can sure as hell fight for what you want. Nelson Mandela wouldn't have been able to unite a nation and offer a different way of life without fighting for his rights. Do you know what else Nelson Mandela did? He never used violence to fight. Even after spending 27 years in prison, he made peace with the people that imprisoned him. That comes to show that you do not have to use violence in order to fight for what you believe in.

The problems that I had before have mostly been resolved. All the problems that I needed to work out myself are gone. However, other problems still remain. I'm coming to the point where I'm thinking that what if it never ends? What if these problems never get resolved? What if they last forever? All I can do is keep making myself a stronger and better person. Hopefully in time, I will find peace within myself and I can move on. For now, I am just going to have to live with it.

For anybody who is feeling the same way, just know that you are not alone. If you have read my post "Alone" and you relate to it, please don't give up. Never stop fighting and never stop believing. I was there. I am now better. You have to know that there are so many people dealing with whatever you are dealing with and one day you will be happy. It might take a long time, for me it's still going on, but it's you who controls your destiny. Work hard and you will succeed.

..and to all my "problems." You wanna fight? Game on.

xx Nathan

7 comments:

  1. Wise of you to enter war with your problems, but know this: this war never ends.

    "Set the cannon on St. Mary's wall, and it will surely surely fall. And threescore men and threescore more, cannot put it as it was before."

    S.

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  2. Nathan your writing is truly captivating. I love love LOVE it! You're so amazing. Keep fighting for what you believe in!

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  3. inspiring and powerful post. good on ya, Nate!!

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  4. Nathan Sing - Changing the world one blog post at a time

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  5. lol so true. hes gonna b famous :3

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